A study a few years ago revealed some interesting numbers about communication, or at least on how much we communicate. The average person speaks some 16,000 words a day. Some people speak as many as 47,000. With all this talking you would think that communication wouldn’t be a problem. After all, since we speak every day, some saying more than others, you would think that we would get pretty good at. The reality is some people are excellent communicators, but most are not.
Poor communication can cost companies dearly. Another study revealed what I call “communication pain” costs the average 100-employee company $525,000 a year. This is due to poor direction given by management, confusion, time spent on having to do things over again and the inertia that exists when people don’t know what they should be doing. Poor communication can restrict the growth of companies; affect the bottom line and cause huge morale issues. Great communication between management and employees can make workers feel great and empowered. Poor communication does the opposite.
Although I never thought about it until recently, I’ve spent 40 years with
communication being the biggest part of what I do. For many years I was
in the news media as an anchor, talk show host and reporter. I spent
several years in public relations and many more in association
management. Once again communication was a huge part of what I did
every day. I’ve now spent eight years as a media trainer and speaker and
for the past couple of years have spent a lot of time studying communication. I’ve boiled it down to eight very simple, but powerful points to allow my audiences to better understand what communication is, how they can get better at it and help others around them improve as well. The following eight points are critical for anyone wanting to become a better communicator and more successful, both at the workplace and at home.
1. We Don’t Talk Anymore
There’s so much more information available today than ever before. Most of written information comes to us in digital form from emails, text messages, internet stories and blogs, social media and even good old printed newspapers and magazines. Unfortunately most people haven’t realized that on many occasions when we send an email or text message, or write something on Facebook, we’re doing something we used to communicate verbally. While we’re writing more, we’re talking less and it’s becoming noticeable. People don’t pick up the phone as much as they used to, or talk face to face to co-workers or clients due to technology. Compare the number of text messages a teenager sends to the number of phone calls they make. Have we reached the point where it’s too easy to email or text, or to put it another way, is it too hard for us to talk? Like any other skill we stop using as much, we get worse at it. 30 years ago when we needed to communicate something to a client we picked up the phone and called, or discuss it face to face. Now we likely send them an email. It’s another brick in the wall of less talking and more typing.
2. Communication is About More Than Just Talking
When most people use the words “communications” or “communicating” they think they’re just words that mean “talking”. That’s not the case. There actually are five distinct parts to communications:
- A message
- A sender for the message
- A receiver for the message
- Feedback to the message
- Noise that distorts the message
The sender, receiver and message are pretty easy to figure out. Feedback is whatever way the sender
can use to ensure the message has been understood, while noise is anything that distorts the message from either the sender or receiver. The key part to understand is feedback. Even though most people
don’t realize it, there’s an obligation on the part of the person who’s speaking to ensure that the person listening has understood their message. There’s obviously an obligation on the receiver as well to comprehend it, but too often the person who’s speaking thinks their job ends when they’re finished talking.
3. It’s Not All About You
One of my favourite lines from my Talk Like a Leader keynote presentation is “People won’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care.” So true. CEOs and other managers who think people will hang on their every word and act just because they tell them to are living in the past. Today’s leaders need to build relationships with their employees, vendors and other stakeholders to fully open the lines of communication. A relationship doesn’t have to be one that’s gone on for years. It can be as simple as a manager and a co-worker connecting over a mutual hobby or the latest hot show on Netflix. Good communication is not about dominating every conversation – it’s about caring what others think and say just as much as you want them to care about you and your opinions and comments. The person who asks the questions is the one who controls the conversation, not the one who talks the most.
4. Be a Leader and Lead
While consensus building, feedback from others and open discussion are all great, eventually the time comes for leaders to make decisions. Employees may not like every decision the leader makes, but can take comfort that he/she listened to what everyone had to say, gave it some thought and made a tough decision. At times, difficult conversations need to be held and leaders are required to be honest with their workers about their performance and what needs to happen to improve. In times like this, honesty isn’t the best policy – it’s the only policy.
It’s also important for leaders to understand it’s always best to be yourself and be honest. Honesty is a very important trait for anyone; especially leaders so don’t sugarcoat what you say. Simple, direct language is always the best. Although it’s important to be clear and direct, it’s also important to be positive and give people hope they can succeed. Finally, document what was said. There’s an old line about one dull pencil being sharper than six bright minds. An important discussion not documented may become dust in the wind.
5. You Are What You Prepare For
It shouldn’t come as any surprise that effective communicators are people who typically think about what they’re going to say before they say it and even practice before some difficult conversations are held. Start by mapping out what you want to say and putting it down on paper in point form, before you start an important conversation. Do it in your own handwriting because you’ll remember it better. Then check your facts because there’s nothing worse than being halfway through a difficult conversation and discovering your information was wrong. Think about potential objections from the person you will be speaking to, how you’ll deal with their arguments and find ways to bring the conversation around to where you want it to go. Finally practice by saying the words out loud and recording your practice session with a cell phone or tablet. Take a look back and see what you look like and what improvements can be made.
6. The Medium Is the Message
Over the years we likely have received voicemail messages so poor that we shook our head in amazement and perhaps even played them back for co-workers because they were so bad. The most important thing to understand about leaving good voice messages is to know what you’re going to say before you say it. This is the same as communicating with somebody in person. So take a few minutes to think about how you can leave your message before you pick up the phone. Figure out how you can get
your message left in a short period of time, make it effective and ensure your call to action is understood. If you want a call back, make sure the person can easily understand your phone number.
The best way to get in the habit of sending good email messages is to think of them as written letters. When we wrote many more letters than we do today, we used to fuss about our words, grammar, sentence structure and typos. With emails, all those good habits have gone out the window for many people. It’s time to think about your next important email as a letter. Have a good opening, middle and close. Start by letting the person know what you’re emailing about, take a few lines to describe the issue and then close with a call to action and farewell. Read it over at least once before hitting the send button and make sure the email doesn’t go on forever. If an email is more than 300 words you likely should pick up the phone and talk to the person and then send a short email to summarize the points.
Text messages for business can be tricky. Make sure your relationship with the other person is strong enough before you start sending short text messages and remember anything you send in a text message can have as big of an impact as an email or letter. Many people in business see their phones as something personal and clients sending text messages can be perceived as being pushy.
7. Your Body Language is Just as Important as Your Words
It’s great to spend time properly preparing for important conversations, but leaders who don’t also consider the importance of their body language are spinning their wheels. Their body language needs to match what they’re saying. If it doesn’t, the message they’re sending gets confused. People with dogs in the home understand that the tone of their voice and their body language is far more important than their actual words when talking to their pet. As you prepare for the discussion, consider what your body language is saying as well. Are you making good eye contact? Are you using hand gestures that align with what you’re saying? Do you have good posture? Do you look relaxed or tense and nervous? Body language can be harder to correct than words, so take a hard look at what your body language is saying and work to make improvements. Remember your voice follows your body, not the reverse.
8. Build a Communications Culture
Ask yourself what can be done to make your employees communicate better. First of all, think about how transparent your organization is and consider whether changes could make it more transparent. Organizations that aren’t transparent generally are ones that don’t communicate very well. Look around and ask what can be done to get people to talk more and email and text less. In some cases people will need to be forced to open up, but your office will be better for it. Ask for suggestions from your team and remember that there are no bad ideas. Finally, do everything you can to eliminate the “us vs. them” mentality. Turf protection and workplace silos lead to communication problems, frustration and financial losses.
By Grant Ainsley
Grant Ainsley, an XTRAcredits subject matter expert, a professional speaker and trainer who lives in Edmonton. He’s also the author The Honest Spin Doctor, a book that informs readers how their organization can “Bulletproof its brand” and deal effectively with the news media.
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